The Number 1 Thing That Contributed to My Traumatic Birth Was… by Donna, Antenatal Classes Auckland
- Donna Cox
- 12 minutes ago
- 3 min read
...Lack of Birth Education
If I could go back in time and whisper one thing to my pregnant self, it would be this:
"You need to know more about birth."
Not in a scary, overload-your-brain way. But in a “Hey babe, you wouldn’t walk into an exam, a job interview, or even a holiday without preparing, right?” kind of way. Yet that’s exactly what I did. And it’s one of the biggest reasons my birth felt so overwhelming, out of control, and — to be honest — traumatic.
So let’s talk about it.
I’m not sharing this to scare you. I’m sharing this because I know birth doesn’t have to feel like that. I went on to have 2 amazing birth experiences!!!
And if you’re planning to give birth soon, or even just thinking about it, I want you to have the tools I didn’t the first time around.
Here’s what I wish I knew, and what I now teach in my Antenatal Classes in Auckland — so more women can feel ready, informed, and empowered, no matter how birth unfolds.
1. Knowledge is Power… and Calm
I used to think, “Birth is natural. My body will know what to do.” And yes — birth is natural. But it’s also intense, unpredictable, and full of choices I didn’t even know I’d have to make.
Things like:
Induction: What does it really mean?
Epidurals: What are the pros and cons?
Pushing: How do I do it effectively?
Baby’s position: Why does it matter so much?
When none of this was explained to me, everything in the birth suite felt overwhelming. I didn’t know what was normal, what was urgent, or what I was “allowed” to ask. That lack of knowledge made me freeze.
When you understand birth, you’re less likely to feel fear — and fear is one of the biggest blocks to an easier labour.
2. Your Birth Partner Needs Education Too
My partner was amazing — supportive, loving, and just as clueless as me.
No one told him how to advocate for me, how to support me when I was in pain, or how to help with comfort techniques. He wanted to help, but he didn’t know how.
In my Antenatal Classes Auckland, I make sure partners leave feeling just as prepared as the birthing parent. They’re not just there to watch — they become a true part of your birth team.
3. You Can’t Predict Birth, But You CAN Prepare
Here’s a hard truth: birth doesn’t always go to plan. But when you understand your options, rights, and body, you can adapt to whatever happens without feeling powerless.
In my case, when the midwife suggested interventions, I didn’t know what questions to ask. I nodded along, trusting everything blindly… but inside I felt like I was spiralling.
Education helps you stay in the driver’s seat — even when the road changes.
4. Hospital Systems Aren’t Designed to Educate You
I love and respect our incredible midwives in New Zealand — they are stretched beyond capacity. Many are doing the job of two or three people. So if you’re expecting your midwife to walk you through every single birth option during a 20-minute check-up, you’ll likely be disappointed.
It’s not your fault. And it’s not hers either.
That’s why independent antenatal education matters so much — it fills the gaps, gives you space to ask questions, and gets you birth-ready on your terms.
5. Trauma Isn’t Always About What Happens — It’s About How It Feels
My birth trauma didn’t come from a medical emergency. It came from feeling like I had no voice. No idea what was going on. No preparation. Just fear.
If you’re nodding right now, you’re not alone.
This is why I now teach trauma-informed antenatal classes — so other women don’t have to feel like I did. So you can walk away feeling informed, not fearful. Confident, not confused.
6. Good Birth Prep Goes Beyond Labour
Antenatal classes aren’t just about contractions and breathing. My classes cover:
Pain relief options (medical and natural)
Partner support tips
Navigating the hospital system
Postnatal recovery (hello, 4th trimester)
Baby care basics
Mental health & emotional wellbeing
Because birth is just the beginning — and being prepared helps you transition into new parenthood with way less overwhelm.
If You’re Pregnant in Auckland…
I’d love to invite you to one of my Antenatal Classes Auckland. They’re modern, fun, honest, and full of the stuff I wish I’d known.
Even just one day together can change how you feel about giving birth. You’ll laugh, you’ll learn, and you’ll leave feeling calm, confident, and ready.
Because you deserve that.
Donna x
Antenatal Classes Auckland
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